“Tuhan memang satu, kita yang tak sama.
Haruskah aku lantas pergi, meski cinta takkan bisa pergi...” Peri Cintaku - Marcell
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Dear
someone that I start to catch a feeling with, how was your day? I am hoping
that your day is good and as bright as your smile.
I
am lying on my bed; there are so many thoughts in my head and you are one of it
–or mostly. I am starting to think about how sweet your smile is and how funny
your face is when you are laughing. Also, I have been thinking (and dreaming,
frankly speaking) about you lately. It was weird, and kind of torturing for me
because you know, I can only like (or love) you like that in my dreams. We are
really different in so many ways.
First
of all, considering your age, you are no longer looking for relationship that
only for fun. I know you’re starting to find your only one, and destiny. So am
I. However, the idea of marriage really scares me to death. Because, I will
spend the rest of my life with someone and I am going to comply with my
husband. In the other side, I still want to chase my dreams to have master
degree overseas, be an entrepreneur, a radio announcer, and when I’m finally
settled I would like to be a prekindergarten teacher. Will I be allowed to do
that? I want to travel around the world to see another culture, perspectives,
learn new things. Can I?
Second
reason. I don’t know about your type, but considering your former crush
–someone that I replace in my division—I am totally different. Well, honestly I
am nobody’s type –or that’s what I’ve believed until now.
Third,
I do not know if your colleagues like me or not. They see me as a lost one,
still a childish one –since I am the new girl in my department and ten year
apart from your age. It feels like I am in the jungle when I came into your
room and they are ready to kick me anytime soon. Well, let’s hope it’s just in
my imagination. Hopefully.
The
last one is the most crucial. We have different perspective regarding our
faith. For me is my religion, for you is your religion. Checkmate, case closed.
I
know I always keen on someone that has different faith with me, and that’s kind
of torture that I cannot bear. If you asked me, what I like about you, the
answer will be probably “No” cause I have no idea at all. It’s just come
naturally. The only thing if this is real, I finally can let go what I thought
I couldn’t. You make me.
One
time, you I found a good quote from Augusten Burroughs. It says, “The people
I’ve loved in my life have never been easy to love. I’m not used to normal. I’m
used to disaster.” The second I read the quotes, I’m thinking: “Yes, I always
love people that never been easy to love.” And yes, you are one of it.
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